Too soon...

About three months ago, we asked my mother to come out here to live. She currently is in Ontario, but since my father died 6 years ago, she has been very lonely and not terribly happy. My only other sibling lives in the UK, I am on the west coast, and my mom is in between. I have been a bit stressed about the the whole move as, strangely enough, since I have had my boys my mother and I have not gotten along that well. We used to be sooooo close, but now....
Anyway, we knew this was the right thing to do and I was feeling better about it. Keeping in mind that I have not lived in the same city as any of my family since I was in highschool, I am used to the independence. I am used to see family a couple times a year and that is it. I am awful for saying this, I know.
I got a phone call two days ago from my mother's friend saying that she is not well (she is 79). She has been so excited to move out here at the end of Sept, apparently, that she has not told the doctor about her poor health in case he told her that she cannot travel. I feel like shit. I feel like a terrible daughter and I am not ready for my mother to reach this stage of her life yet. Am I going to be able to look after her, give her everything that she needs, in addition to looking after my family and 3 and 6 year old sons? My older sister is in denial, and being 6000 miles away, and single with not children, I do not think she appreciates my fears. I feel like am being pulled in all directions and my mothers survival is dependent on ME now.
Can you tell I am stressed?????
I am not ready for this. My mother has never been ill. Well, she has been quite ill for 6 months now, but did not want to tell anyone. She said she did not want to worry me. I tell you, getting a phone call from her friend to inform me how sick she was, that was far worse.
I am a terrible daugher....

home, at last...

We have just returned from our annual family camping trip. I keep telling myself that as my youngest son gets older, this trip will become easier and easier...WRONG. Camping with two young boys is an endurance test. We did have lots of fun and good weather. There were highlights, like canoeing and my eldest catching his first fish. But boy, there were low points, too. I felt as though my fellow campers must have labelled my husband and I as the Nazi-parents as we seemed to be always nagging the kids. All the mundane things were a challenge for my boys....eating, getting ready in the morning, getting ready for bed, etc. They were great for the 'camping activities", but everything else....no way. C told me that when he gets bored his brain does funny things that make him misbehave. Good try! I tried to explain that life is not one exciting event after another. The "filler" between events is boring, but everyone has to do it. I have to sometimes remind myself of this as well.
I know next June, when I am booking this camping trip again I will have forgotten all of this @$^#*, and I will be eager to get on the road again...

Oh Harry...

OK, I have just finished the last Harry Potter book and I loved it! It was so exciting and captivating. I starting reading the first of the series when I was pregnant with my first son, never realizing that my craving for the books would continued for 7 years. I must say that JK Rowling has done an amazing job. I love her for everything that she represents. A single mother trying to make ends meet, a woman in a male dominated profession, and a storyteller who needed to tell imaginative and valuable stories to children. She lived in Edinburgh at the same time that we did. She would sit in a cafe on the High Street and make a cup of coffee last for hours while she was writing her first Harry Potter book. When her daughter would arrive home from school, she would nag her Mother to read to her what she had written in the cafe that day. That is part of what kept her going. An amazing woman.
The whole story she told is wonderful for children (and adults) to read. It holds valuable yet practical lessons for us learn and hopefully remember when life becomes puzzling...
Anyway, enough said. I hope that anyone else who is reading the book has gotten as much pleasure out of it as I have...
I will try to write again soon...and more regularly.

such a sap...

I recently went to a wedding with my family. Now, the people who were getting married were not really friends of ours, but more "work related" friends of my husband. They had a HUGE, extravagent wedding, so four more people coming was not really a problem for them. The entire affair cost around $70,000...if you can believe that!!!!
Anyway, whenever I go to a wedding since I got married, I always get choked up. Most of my friends have already walked down the aisle, so I have not been to one for about 8 years. Considering that I really had little emotional attachment to these people, I figured I would be safe in the tear department when the bride appeared. WRONG! As soon as I saw her, saw the groom, listened to the vows...I was a mess. It was an outdoor wedding, so I could hide behind my sunglasses fortunately.
I really am not sappy. My husband laughs that I am hard as nails. I only cry at "It's a Wonderful Life" every Christmas and weddings. Oh yeah, I am also moved by our national anthem. When we go to a hockey game at GM Place, and there are 18000 people singing the anthem, I get a lump in my throat. I think I feel that way now after spending so many years out of the country and missed Cananda.
What do you guys get emotional about?

tagged...hurray...

Tagged by Clowngirl requesting list of places I eat at...
Well, considering that we have two small children, 6 and 3, we do not get out much. But here is a list that I love to go to when I get a chance...
1. Stella's - on Commercial Dr in Van. Amazing mussels and a vast selection of beers.
2. La Bodega - By the Grandville Street Bridge in Van. Great tapas and sangria. Authentic Spanish food as alot of the clientele are from Spain.
3. The Boot and Sombrero - Ladner. Local pub that does fantastic fajitas. We know the owners, so that always helps too with regard to lock-ins.
4. Any British pub - anywhere in the UK. We can try to duplicate them here in Canada, but it just does not cut the mustard. There is just something quintessential about ordering scampi and chips and a pint of lager and lime, and then eating it in the beer garden. I love it. And now that I have a family, I appreciate it even more as children are allowed. No stupid liquor liciencing laws like here.
5. The Point Hotel - Edinburgh. If you are ever there...try it!!! Best place in town!!!

HELP!!!!!!!

We are going to a wedding on July 1st, and I, honestly, have nothing to wear. Remembering that my full time job for the past 6 years has been being a mother, I have no formal clothes!! This is my opportunity to wear something nice and not worry about getting grass stains or apple juice on it. Well, if I drink too much, I may get a red wine stain, but I can sacrifice that. I went out on my own last night to go shopping and all I could find that I felt comfortable in was a black cotton A line skirt. I bought it, but I have nothing wear with it!!!! I am definately a fall / winter person. I could easily pull something together to an October wedding. I wonder if that is why I actually got married in October????
Anyway, all the styles are wild patterns, cross over, low V neck things that I would look horrilbe in!!!! AHHHHHH the stress. Silly, isn't it?
Any suggestions?

kitchens

All that seems to be on my mind is my kitchen. We are ripping it all out and starting over again. We are not beginning the work until September, but I figure that between now and then I have about 200 decisions to make. This room will be our final big reno in the house, then it will be virtually complete. I cannot wait to do it, to put our own mark on it and create something that we both love. But hey, you can get sucked into the whole reno pretty quickly at some of the shops. We went to a great shop here, and some of the ranges were about $15000!!! Do I really need 6 burners, a double oven and a warming rack??? I ended up purchasing a fridge and range in the ex-display model sections and saved close to $1000.00. I figure I would rather pay less for an item that has a little scratch, rather than paying full price and having my sons (or me!!) scratch it in three months time....Some people would never be seen in that section, but to me it was heaven!!! Anyone have any words of wisdom for my new creation???? Please.....